Shame, guilt, fear. We all know what these things are; we all know what they feel like unfortunately. They grip us and never seem to let us go. They seem so deeply embedded within our souls; you can’t remember when they weren’t there.
My thoughts are so jumbled. I want to say so many things, and I don’t know what they all are. I want to answer so many questions, soothe so many hurts with the right words. I want to explain how God is good. And talk about His forgiveness, and salvation, and love, and mercy, and grace, and so many other things. I try to focus on one, but then I get stuck or something. I don’t really know what I feel right now. Peace, uneasiness, calm, urgent, sad, content, perplexed, something like that, maybe. I want to sing, and I want to talk/preach. I want to tell people. Through song and speech. I love both. The world is so terrible, and God is so good. It hurts sort of. To see a mother mourn her child. A friend look after a wounded friend. A father love his son.
If you feel dirty, ashamed, guilty, and you believe in Jesus, and are saved, you are forgiven. Every sin. There’s not one God doesn’t know about. If you are saved, you are forgiven. That’s what Jesus did on the cross. He died, so you wouldn’t be dirty, so you wouldn’t be ashamed, so you wouldn’t be guilty. Why do you cast it to the side as seemingly worthless? Why can’t you accept the gift already given to you? Shame goes away. Ever slowly, but never the less it goes away. But only if you let it. Yes it does sink its claws into you deeper than you can bear to imagine, but you hold onto it for dear life also. Once you start to let go, to accept you are forgiven, and realize this is why Jesus took all you sins onto Himself and pined then to the cross, and held them there with His blood. Every drop was for you, so you would be free. Every lash of the whip was for you. Every tear. If you think you still have to be punished, stop it. You don’t. There will always be consequences, yes. But not punishment. All you have to do is reach up and take His hand, accept that your guilt is not needed, that it’s already been taken care of. Jesus took your punishment willingly. Why? Because He loves you with a love so pure, so deep, so right, so holy, so wonderful you could never comprehend it’s true depths. He loves you. Faults and all. Shortcomings and failures. Stumbles and crashes. Everything about you He totally digs. He loves your hair (or lack thereof), He loves your style, He loves your heart. All He desires is your love in return; which is quite easy considering He is quite perfect. Just imagine, the most perfect being in the entire universe, wants to be your best bud, He wants give you something deeper, bigger than yourself. Just let it go. He’ll catch you. He’s really good at that.
If you don’t believe in Jesus, what are you waiting for? Admit you are a sinner, (Have you ever done anything bad at all? If yes, you are a sinner. Welcome to the club) admit you need Jesus in your heart, and you need His help to turn from your wicked ways (yes, they are wicked, believe in you heart that Jesus Christ is Lord, and confess it with your mouth. And congratulations. Jesus is your new best friend. I’d suggest you get a bible, read it, get plugged into a bible believing church, and find out what the bible says. People at the church will be able to help you if you have questions. Questions are perfectly fine. In fact, questions are wonderful.
May God bless you and keep you.